Tip...Auto Soak It

Did you know that there is an Auto Soak setting on your washer? I have a 15 minute Auto Soak and a 30 minute Auto Soak. Wow, has this been a time saver for me! I have 3 little girls so I have to preserve my eldest's clothes for hand me downs. Well, I used to hand wash all the clothes that had stains on them until I discovered Oxi-Clean and Auto Soak. I spray the stained clothing with the Oxi-Clean spray, put a scoop of Oxi-Clean powder (along with regular detergent) in with the load, and set the washer to Hot and a 30 minute Auto Soak. No fail, the stains are gone at the end of the wash cycle! No more hand washing!

Tip...If It's a Valid Complaint, Make It

A few weeks ago while I was at Wal-Mart, I got into a little accident. As a pulled into the parking lot, the cart stalls were overflowing with carts, past the metal stopper on the ground. I left the girls in the car to get a cart from one of the overflowing cart stalls and as I pulled the cart out, 3 carts started rolling away towards the cars in front of it. I went after the 1st cart, retrieved it, and parked it back into the overflowing cart stall. As I pushed the cart in, about 6 or 7 carts, stuck together, started rolling away towards the car in front of it. I went to stop the carts by jumping in front of it and the carts knocked me down and ran over me. A lady, drove by, stuck her head out the window and said, "I saw carts flying and I was waiting for you to go down." I told her I did go down. So she went into Wal-Mart to complain about the carts. When I got myself together and the girls in a cart, I also went in to make a complaint. None of the associates behind the Customer Service desk asked me if I wanted to file an Incident Report, something I was not aware existed. Instead, they told me that another lady already complained and the situation was being taken care of. When I went back out, 45 minutes later, after shopping, the carts were all still there. They had not cleared the overflowing cart stalls. Unfortunately, I did not return to the store to complain again.

I was feeling uneasy about the situation because I felt like my complaint was ignored. Some one could have easily gotten injured, especially a little child, like one of my girls, if I had them with me getting a cart. So, I went to the Wal-Mart website and filled out one of the customer feedback forms. In about a day, a manager from Wal-Mart called me and asked me to go back to the store to file an Incident Report. They also gave me the number of their insurance company just in case I was injured. I did have some achiness afterwards, but it went away, so I didn't pursue going to the doctor.

Well, I am so glad I made that complaint because I have gone back to Wal-Mart at least 3 times since filing that report and the cart stalls were either empty or they had employees out in the parking lot collecting the carts. I would like to think that my complaint made a difference and I am now a firm believer that if you have a valid complaint, make it.

Praying Over the Right Words to Say or Write

I am a better writer than I am a speaker and when it comes to conflict, I am horrible at verbalizing my thoughts. Therefore, I usually just listen to a person and when I am ready to give a response I usually do it through a note. It's not the best way to resolve an issue, but I've found that if I take the time to think about the issue, pray over it, and write out my thoughts with a calm and trusting spirit, the issue is resolved with Christ-likeness and there is usually restoration.

As a follow up to my previous post, The Clashing of 2 Cultures or Making a Bigger Deal Out of Nothing?, I returned the thank you note to my friend and I also enclosed another note thanking my friend again and explaining where I thought the misunderstanding of the money came from. However, before writing and sending that note, I did several things.

First, I discussed the idea with my husband. I wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing and that my heart was coming from the right place. I told DearHubby what I wanted to put in the letter and after hearing my thoughts, he was ok with the idea.

Second, I asked DearHubby to pray for the right words.

Third, I prayed for the right words. As I sat down to write the note, I asked the Lord to keep my heart pure and that the words I write on the paper would be words enlightened by Him and not out of my flesh.

Fourth, I read the note to DearHubby when I was done. DearHubby found the note OK except for one section. He asked me to remove the section he didn't like because it sounded like I was again trying to cause conflict and the note was to cause resolution and restoration. The section was not necessary to the explanation of the misunderstanding and I agreed with DearHubby and removed it.

Fifth, I prayed for my friend so that when she received and read the note that she would see only Christ's love and my intent for resolution and restoration.

Well, I gave the note to my friend. She read it, we had a brief discussion about it, and the conflict was resolved. She had nothing more to say about the issue and I said everything I needed to and the issue is now forgotten. There were no apologies said because there really was no sin committed against one another, just a mere misunderstanding, and that misunderstanding was cleared up.

Although my feelings were hurt by the way my friend returned the money and thank you note at church, I decided not to let my friend know of my hurt feelings and to let that go. Though my feelings were hurt, there was nothing my friend did that was really sinful that needed any sort of reproof and I decided that this was one of those issues where I should have a gentle and quiet spirit over.

My Love/Hate Relationship

While I was in California I made it my first priority to purpose servanthood towards my sister and her family and though I had access to the computer every day, I used it for a half an hour only once during my visit and if I checked my e-mail, I was on for only 1 minute. For most of my visit, I didn't concern myself too much with cyberspace and didn't really care to be on the computer and I found that to be so freeing to serve those around me...

Back in 2006 DearHubby joined an online forum about his favorite hobby. I noticed that he enjoyed the forum because he was able to discuss his favorite hobby with people of like mind. He's even met a few fellows who live nearby and has gone out once or twice with them.

As I watched DearHubby meeting new people through the internet, I thought it was a good idea to start my own online forum where I could discuss my favorite topic, God and Jesus. So, I started a women's forum, A Forum for Christian Women. I advertised it to my local friends, but none were really interested in participating. Only 1 friend was interested and to this day, she has been faithful in her continual participation in it. Thanks, Trish!...Anyway, as I got this forum started, I contacted college alumni offices for advertisement opportunities. I wasn't too successful. Then, I joined a Yahoo! group to find forum participants. Though my initial intent was to find forum participants, I also found good fellowship there and I ultimately left my initial intent behind and truly became a part of the group. However, this intent caught up with me when I mentioned my forum once and the owner of the group thought I was spamming and I was kicked off the group. I was left with a very hardened heart and couldn't believe that a fellow Christian would be so mean spirited. I was discouraged about my forum and prayed about shutting it down. Even though there weren't too many participants on my forum, it still took a lot of time to maintain because I wanted to provide any reader of the forum with good content and I did a lot of reading and researching and even posted several book studies. I decided to keep it up as a ministry because I got visitors once in a while and I thought that a Christian site would be more encouraging to a browser than an inappropriate site like porn. Unfortunately, this was the beginning of my love/hate relationship with the computer. I enjoyed posting, but I didn't like the time it took to put up a good post. Today, I barely participate on my own forum. When I remember to, I still do Thankful Thursdays, but otherwise, I don't research, read, and post as I used to.

In the midst of starting a forum, I was also introduced to blogging! What a great way to show off my new little one! It was exciting because I could capture DearDaughter learning in her big new world and share her experiences in a snap! I started out on Yahoo! and found that to be too cumbersome. As I looked around on the net for a more user friendly blogging site, I found Blogger and discovered that I could have more than 1 account using the same name!!! Thus, I started this site, The Art of Making a Home Joyful. I would have one site just for sharing DearDaughter1's experiences and another site where I could just pour out my heart about motherhood! But wait, I also needed another site to send monthly family updates...

And now, there's Facebook...

And good old e-mail...

Do I really need to spend all this time on the computer?

I am not suspending any of my accounts, but I am also not going to be spending much time on them either. This week, I left the computer off for 2 days, Tuesday and Thursday, and I found that I spent more quality time with MyGirls. I'm not on the computer much anyway, but when the computer is on, there's always that temptation to check e-mail for new mail or to check Blogger for comments on a new post or to check Facebook for a new notification or to check out the latest on a friend's blog. Then, if there is a new anything, I, of course, have to stop and check out what's new and if a response is needed, then think of a reply. You don't realize it, but that little break takes up time, time that could be spent, at least for me, serving more of my family.

So, that's my love/hate relationship. I love how the internet opens me up to a whole different world from mine and keeps me connected, but I hate how the internet just sucks away precious time from those around me. And that's my lesson learned, that the internet does suck away precious time from those around me, thus, I will be limiting my time on the computer even more. Yet, this is not good-bye...

Going Manual and a New Fun Place to Hang Out

Since October 2006 I've been putting up my weekly projects and then in November 2007 I've posted my daily "To Do" List. Posting my projects and To Do list really helped keep me stay accountable as I loved walking by my computer screen and seeing things crossed out on my list. It made me feel like I accomplished something during the day.

Well, I have decided to go manual with my "This Week" posts. I don't have a PDA and I can't carry my big computer around with me :( As much as I enjoy posting my To Do list, at this time, I will have to go manual :( I really like just walking up to the computer screen with my list glaring me in the face, but the big advantage to having a manual planner with me is that I get to jot down notes and add to my list during the day without wasting much time.

I've also gone manual with my daily devotions. I used to do my devotions online...reading from http://www.biblegateway.com/ and then jotting some things to meditate on. I think I will still post my devotions online, but as far as doing them online, that's also become an inconvenience as I would need to find time to get on the computer.

I've expressed my love hate relationship with my computer to a few before. I love being able to blog and read other people's blogs (when time allows), but I hate the time the computer sucks out of your day because it's that enjoyable and I'm finding it soooo difficult to get online. Anyway, so I've been trying to minimize the amount of time I spend on the computer...

A fun place that I just discovered is Facebook. I've been on Facebook for a few months now, but didn't really get "into" it until a couple weeks ago. It's a neat way to get reaquainted with old friends and a neat way to quickly get in touch with current friends. It makes you feel connected and you don't even have to spend a lot of time on it!

Anyway, I used to be a Manufacturing Engineer. One of my jobs used to be improving processes on the manufacturing floor to reduce production time to increase productivity. I've been evaluating my time and have wanted to spend more quality time with the girls but also be able to do the things I need to and even desire to. Going MANUAL (which is ironic) and using Facebook has been a couple of time savers I've found!

How I Use Coupons...

About a year ago I cancelled my Sunday newspaper subscription because it became more of a waste of money than a savings. I subscribed to the Sunday paper solely for the coupons and every 8 weeks about $13 was automatically taken out of my bank account. It became overwhelming keeping up with the paper and then I had sooooo many coupons in store for later use that it became a burden looking for the coupon I needed. AND then, those coupons in store for later use expired, but I forgot about them and so I had a pile of coupons, which were in an organizer, that never got used and my $13 would eventually end up wasted.

Well, I no longer subscribe to the paper, but I still get it at a 30% discounted price at Wal-Mart. I like doing it this way because I can preview the coupons beforehand and determine whether the paper's worth buying or not. AND to determine whether the paper's worth buying, I at least make sure that I will save more than the $1.25 that I will pay for it.

The other change I made is determining which coupons to cut out. I no longer cut out coupons that I think I'm going to use later. I look through the coupons and determine which coupons I will really use and then on my next grocery run, I purchase the products. The only coupons I store for a later date is for products I absolutely know I will need, like Pull-Ups. If I need a product and there's a coupon for a brand name that I don't normally use, I will compare the prices with the store brand and if the store brand is cheaper, then I buy the store brand product. I find that some people use a coupon because they think it's saving them money, but sometimes I find that even with a coupon, a brand name product is still more expensive and I don't mind using store brand products.

The last change I made is how I keep up with the coupons. When I subscribed to the paper, I didn't look through it immediately and then I would have 2 to 5 weeks worth of papers to look through and a whole pile just sitting waiting for me. Now, I make sure to look through the paper at least by the day after purchasing it AND then immediately tie it up and put it in the recycling bin. Unfortunately, I don't look through the paper to read it, but at this season of life, I don't have the time.

So, that's my new strategy to using coupons. It's helped with keeping out the clutter and I'm finally saving money now.

A Saturday Afternoon at Lake Lenape

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As a single woman, I remember seeing an Oprah show, maybe back in the 90's, where the guests were women who suffered from Premenstrual Syndrome. I used to not struggle with any prementrual symptoms and I remember laughing at those women for their lack of self-control. One of the women claimed to suffer from PMS so bad that she literally wanted to kill her husband. I felt no sympathy for these women and thought they were using PMS as an excuse to get away with their inability to control their emotions.

Well, I must now have to admit that I do empathize with these women because I've come to the realization that I too suffer from PMS. DearHubby noticed a change in my behavior soon after giving birth to DearDaughter1. I refused to believe it. So every month when DearHubby thought I was very irritable, he would ask if my period was coming.

What does my PMS feel like? I feel like I'm coming down with a cold or the flu. My body gets very tired and I just don't feel very good. As a result of this fatigue feeling, I am very irratible and every little thing stresses me out. The worse part about my PMS is the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that comes down on me. It literally feels like a rush of anxiety overcomes my mind and I sense a great loss of control over life. Since I have no outlet or resolve for that anxiety, I resort to relieving the stress through anger and angry outbursts.

It's important for me to have come to this realization because although I sense a great loss of control, I should not respond with the lack of self-control, which is how I have responded. In doing a little research1 about PMS, there are several ways to relieve or tone down the symptoms. The answer is very obvious as it is for every health concern. It is to eat healthier, exercise, and reduce stress. Though I don't eat that unhealthy, my diet could be healthier. One thing I do enjoy is a can of Coke or a glass of iced tea at least once a day, both of which have caffeine. Avoiding caffeine is one of those things on the eat healthier list that I don't do. I also don't eat enough fruits and vegetables as I should. I have started an exercise routine, so that's something on the list that I can check off. However, I don't get the rest that I should. It's critical that I know these things so that when that time of the month comes, my symptoms aren't uncontrollable.

Lastly or maybe firstly(?) I need to pray for God's sufficient grace to give me the strength to get through each month with self-control even when I don't feel like it.

So, why is Lake Lenape such a significant place?

God's sufficient grace brought me there this past weekend. I was struggling with a horrible case of PMS and totally lost all sense of control. I flew off the handle many times because things didn't seem like they were going my way, when in reality, things were not working in DearHubby's favor.

DearHubby had plans to work on the mold removal in our basement. I was asked to leave the house for the day, but my plans to meet an old colleague did not pan out and other friends had other plans for the day. I had no clue where to go and that stressed me out. All morning I fretted about what to do during the day. In the meantime, DearHubby's plans to get an early start wasn't working out either. He had a doctor's appointment where he left the house at 9am, but didn't get back until 11am. Although I had more time at home to think about what I could do, I got more and more angry until I broke down in anger and tears towards my husband. Though I had a vague idea of what I should do, I was still very uncertain of my plans.

I had never been to Lake Lenape before, but I found this park on the internet under Things To Do In...When the girls and I arrived, I was taken by the view of the lake. Just like any other lake, the view was just completely serene. Well, the parking lot was very full and there were college students everywhere loading and unloading their crew boats. Blessedly, there was one parking spot left and I grabbed it. We arrived at the peak of crew practice and once I got the girls and our things unloaded, we had the opportunity to watch the teams practice. It was an exciting event for DearDaughter1 because this was the first time she had ever seen a boat before! After watching the practices, we headed into the park and what greeted us were 2 very new and clean playgrounds and a gazebo that overlooked even more of this pretty lake. I was amazed that there weren't more people taking advantage of this park! We had the park all to ourselves! Eventually, some people came by with their kids and I was taken by how friendly the people were. The girls and I have been to other parks and playgrounds before where the kids, especially the older ones, were very mean. However, these kids were very friendly and DearDaughter1 made 2 new friends that day, Chloe and Katelyn. They were older girls who took DearDaughter1 under their wings and they just had a fun time chasing after the boys or even running from them. DearDaughter1 had the time of her life and because she was so happy, I was very happy too. DearDaughter2 enjoyed the park too and even had the opportunity to try out the swings. It was one of the best days I ever had and that time was just what I needed to relieve the stressful feelings I was feeling earlier.

When we arrived home, DearHubby was not quite finished with the mold removal and so I took the girls out for an extra treat. We went out for ice cream and that topped off our day very sweetly!

I said I was brought to Lake Lenape by God's sufficient grace because He made me realize that these symptoms of PMS can be controlled. I don't have to allow my emotions to overcome me. I can still struggle with PMS, but I can also find relief and have control over it.

1. "Prementrual Syndrome"; http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/premenstrual-syndrome/DS00134.

Make Motherhood Look Easy...

Following are tips from a Sam's Club pamphlet...



Taking care of baby tips:

Use a master calendar to keep track of your baby's appointments and checkups.

Always have a diaper bag packed with diapers, wipes, lotion, bottles and a change of clothes.

Take advantage of your baby's naptime to sort the mail, check e-mail, fold laundry or relax and re-energize.

Make a daily to-do list to help you save time and stay focused.

Prepare for the next morning the night before.

Spend 10 minutes every day on a small organizational project or cleaning task to prevent things from piling up.

Accept help when it is offered, and ask for help when you need it.

Indulge yourself. Taking care of yourself will help you take better care of your baby.

Our First Wedding After Kids

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Back in December 2007 we were invited to our first wedding after kids. When I made reservations for this January wedding I made it for 4 (2 adults and 2 kids). I received a call from the bride to be asking me to find a babysitter for the kids or to cancel. Since I am still nursing, we decided that we would just cancel our reservations because we are not able to leave DearDaughter2 with a babysitter.

Then, in January, we were invited to a February wedding. Traumatized from the previous ordeal, I didn't know how I should reserve for this wedding. At the very last minute, DearHubby finally talked me into calling my friend to see if children were allowed. I did and I found out that there would be childcare at the reception and the children would have their own catered meal. "Wow, how thoughtful!," I thought!

So, the wedding was yesterday and everything went well except for missing the ceremony because DearDaughter1 & DearDaughter2 were so loud that we had to step out of the sanctuary to keep them from distracting the ceremony. The ceremony was probably only 45 minutes long, but it seemed like the longest 45 minutes! All in all, though the wedding couple were very thoughtful about making accomodations for the children, I don't know that I'd want to take children to another wedding again until I know they are able to sit still and quiet for a time. Our attention was so divided that we really didn't get to enjoy seeing our friends' special occasion. I was kind of sad about that because she's leaving the area and moving to Florida next Saturday.

Kids Activity - Teaching Left from Right

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DearDaughter1 is now able to identify letters and I thought that if she is able to do that then she is able to associate objects with letters too. So, I wrote a big "L" on DearDaughter1's left hand and a big "R" on her right hand. I pointed to her left hand and said that the "L" means LEFT hand and the "R" means RIGHT hand. She picked up on it quickly. Then, I showed her that when I say "Raise your right hand" that she should raise her right hand (me, of course raising my left hand so she would follow). I did that with the left side. I then stopped raising my hand and reminded her what the "L" and the "R" meant. I asked her to raise her right hand and she looked at her hands and raised the one with the "R". We continued to do this until she didn't have to look at her hands anymore. She still gets them mixed up, but I think the concept of left and right has finally sunk in. The next thing I want to teach her is to look left and right and then to move left and right. This will be so helpful when I have to give her directions and I am able to say, "No no no, move over to your left or right."

Diaper Genie

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For one of my baby shower gifts back in 2005, when I was pregnant with DearDaughter1, I was given a Diaper Genie. I had always heard negative things said about it and though it was always in DearDaughter1's room next to the changing table, I had never set it up. Well, this week, I finally set up the Diaper Genie, yes after 2 years, and I appreciate it! I appreciate it because I have a specific place to put diapers in and it doesn't fill up our regular trash can. The negative comments I heard about the Diaper Genie is that it still stinks. There is still a little odor when you open it up, but I think if you empty it out often enough and spray it down with a deoderizer, you can minimize the odor. Anyway, I'm glad that I finally set up the Diaper Genie and look forward to using it as more kiddos come along. It's not necessarily a must have item, but if you happen to get one at your baby shower, I would definitely recommend using it! If you don't get a Diaper Genie, they do sell scented plastic bags for your dirty diapers.

Homemade Baby Food

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I'm so excited right now! I was putting off starting DearDaughter2 on solids because I wanted to try homemade baby food. Yet, I was intimidated about the work and time that would go into making the baby food and I didn't have a resource to go to get started. I was waiting for a DearFriend to lend me her book, but her daughter is about the same age as DearDaughter2 and so she wasn't quite ready to give up her recipes yet (understandable). But because I was skeptical about whether I was really going to stick to making baby food or not, I didn't want to spend the money to buy a recipe book that I may not use.

The following link is a great place to start http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/.

When I looked at this site I was greatly encouraged! I can't believe that I used to buy the jarred bananas when all I needed to do was mash them up or that avocados can be mashed up just the same is bananas.

I started DearDaughter2 with the avocados and bananas. She didn't like the avocados alone, but when I added apple juice, she was ok with it. She liked the bananas!

Then, last night, I actually ventured into actually cooking. I baked a sweet potato and pureed it. Since I only have a blender and no food processor, I actually added an extra step to the baby food making process. The pureed food was still quite lumpy and so I ran the puree through a strainer. The sweet potato filled up a little more than 1/2 of an ice tray. Oh, just to thin it out, I did add a little apple juice.

I fed DearDaughter2 the sweet potatos tonight and she loved it! It's so exciting to see her take to the homemade baby food, which is totally motivating me to stick to it.

I think I'm going to try carrots and butternut squash next.

It's not all that hard at all and I would encourage all Mommies to try it! It's actually quite rewarding!

How Do You Stir Your Hot Cocoa?

It always annoyed me that whenever I made hot cocoa (from a packet) there would be lumps of the mix all over my drink and I would take a sip and the lumps would break in my mouth spreading this concentrate of hot cocoa all around. I didn't like it.

Well, I figured out a way to stir my hot cocoa and get the lumps out. I use a fork instead of a spoon or plastic/wooden stirrer. And guess what? My hot cocoa has always been nice and smooth since I figured out this little secret. Maybe I'll invent a hot cocoa stirrer (if they don't already have one).