Pregnancy...

I had a hard time sleeping last night and got very little of it, if any. There were a lot of things running through my mind, especially the idea of having a third Little One to care for in less than 5 weeks. I'm getting quite anxious about it.

DearHubby and I spent most of this weekend with a lot of tension between us. We finally found reconciliation and resolution to our issues last night when we both were finally willing to talk and discovered that the main reason we've both been so on edge lately is because we've been getting very little rest. I, especially, like to take advantage of the time after the girls are in bed. I like to get the house ready for the next day during this time and sometimes it takes me 'til 10pm to get all that I want done done. It's so hard getting chores done during the day while the girls are running around. There's an interruption every 5 minutes and it sometimes takes longer to do a chore while they're up versus when they're down. DearDaughter2 is also at a stage where she's very clingy and sometimes whiny, which is understandable. Her attention span is still so short and she cannot stay on an activity for very long and still needs a lot of direction. So, it is twice as hard to get anything accomplished while DearDaughter2 is up as she demands lots of time from me. In addition, she's transitioning from 2 naps to 1 and on some days I don't start my day until the afternoon and by that time I am just so tired. I'm not even talking about the days where we've got appointments to make and we have to leave the house by 8am. And then, the chores I'm talking about isn't even like cleaning chores. Cleaning and dusting is such a foreign term in this house right now. It's just mere survival chores like getting groceries, cooking, dishes, laundry, sorting of mail, paying of bills, and taking out trash that I have a hard time keeping up with. In addition to getting those chores done, I've been trying to get some extra projects squeezed in so that when my parents are here they'll have room in the laundry room to put their luggage and DearHubby can start work on our addition.

Yeah, it sometimes takes me 2 to 3 weeks just to even get to cleaning our toilet, when there's mold starting to form. I don't even know when was the last time I touched our bath tub.

This Saturday we moved DearDaughter2 into DearDaughter1's room and before we placed any furniture down, I dusted and vacuumed the area. I haven't cleaned DearDaughter1's room for over a year and there were dust bunnies and cakes of dust everywhere.

What makes things even more of a challenge is just the physical challenge of being pregnant. Carrying this big belly is really such a chore and with the combination of a lack of rest, it is really difficult to make my body get up and go.

So, as I think about the condition of this house, especially the difficulty of keeping up with chores now, I am feeling a bit anxious about adding another Little One to care for. Breastfeeding alone will take up a lot of time...

DearHubby set a time limit for us last night to aim for a 10pm bedtime. So, I listed all the reasons why we don't get to bed by 10pm now. He has volunteered to help me with some chores and now we have a division of labor. However, I also agreed to save some chores for the day time and that has me a little nervous as the chores I save at night are the ones that take the most time and concentration.

It's probably me being so tired that my outlook on things are just so negative. Maybe if I get more rest my outlook will be brighter.