Where Are My Eyes?

Verse of the Day:
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)

The girls and I got through yesterday.

It really wasn't too bad at all. DearDaughter1 already had a well established routine and so I worked around that "fundamental" routine to shape DearDaughter2's routine...I practiced Dr. Ezzo's Parent Direct Feeding (PDF) method with DearDaughter1 and so for the past 2 1/2 weeks, I've been working on getting DearDaughter2 on the same Eating Time --> Awake Time --> Sleeping Time routine and with perseverance, DearDaughter2's body is finally "catching" on to the pattern.

It was difficult at first to get DearDaughter2 on the routine because we struggled with my milk not coming in soon enough and then she had gas and pooppy problems for several days which kept us both up in the middle of nights. With her quickly maturing body, I think DearDaughter2 is learning how to deal with the gas and her body is adjusting itself to pooping during the day rather than at night. Therefore, DearDaughter2 had a very good day yesterday where she was able to go through the whole PDF routine for the entire day and she actually gave us 5 good hours of sleep last night! It is advised that breast-feeding mommies should not go longer than 5 hours without a feeding, so I would have had to wake up anyway...

The only glitch in the day was around 4:30pm, which was actually a test from God, and I failed. I was in the middle of giving DearDaughter1 a bath when DearDaughter2 woke up from her nap. So, I brought DearDaughter2 into the bathroom with us and laid her in her bouncy seat with the vibrator on, hoping the vibration would calm her crying. The vibration didn't calm DearDaughter2 down and her cries got even harder. So, I rushed DearDaughter1's bath and she disliked that...DearDaughter1 is used to playing around after Mommy's done washing her and she refused to get out of the tub by throwing a crying fit...I had 2 babies crying loudly and I grew quite anxious and overwhelmed. I knew what each baby wanted and there wasn't enough of ME to go around and tend to each one's desires...As I took DearDaughter1 out of the tub she squealed and squirmed and refused to be set down to be dried...I used my strength and voice to overpower DearDaughter1 and that settled her. Well, I failed this test because instead of calmly dealing with DearDaughter1, I let my anxiety, frustration, and anger take over and those were the things running in my heart as I dealt with DearDaughter1...

Here's where I need to take a rabbit trail for a moment...SomeMom commented about how she respected my decision to stay home with my children because she couldn't do it herself. Her reasoning was that she needed to go to work to get away from her 2 children...Why wasn't this mom's love for her children enough to endure through those rough times to stay at home with them?...If this mom said that she needed to return to work because her family needed the extra income I would be more understanding but it seemed like her main reason was to escape the hard responsibility of raising her children...

Anyway, I took that rabbit trail just to step outside for a moment...If the only reason for this mom's return to work was to get away from her children, then, this mom only kept her eyes on what was just in front of her rather than seeing the big picture and the finish line...

This speaks much to those little glitches in my day, especially when I allow my anxiety, frustration, and anger to take over. What is our main goal with our children? It is to teach them how to glorify and enjoy God...Am I always seeking God's kingdom with my children? When I allow my anxiety, frustration, and anger to overcome my actions, then I have moved away from seeking God...Luke 12:6-7 reminds me that God takes care of the sparrows...Are we not more important than the sparrows? Therefore, what reason do I have to get anxious when I should trust that God is there to help? Can I remember to seek God's kingdom the next time I'm given a little glitch in my day and keep my eyes on the bigger picture rather than just the small view in front of me at that time?