Friday, June 01, 2007

June 1, 2007 - My Desire

Verse of the Day:
I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (
Revelations 21: 2-4)

Last week I received a voice message from one of the pastors' wives, who runs the ladies' ministries at church, inviting me to a meeting concerning the planning of future ladies' Bible studies. On this message she said that she sees a gift of teaching in me, which is why she would like me to attend.

When I received this message, I had 2 opposing emotions.

First, the emotion of great gratitude to the Lord for being so faithful to my heart's desires to be involved in Women's Ministry like this. For years I have yearned to lead a Bible study for women, but the opportunity never presented itself. Through that time, the Lord showed me just how much I had to learn.

Second, the emotion of anxiety and concern because now that the opportunity is presenting iteself, I don't know that it's the season in life for me to take on a leadership role as I am uncovering many sins in my heart that need to be addressed before I can lead as well as being so consumed with taking care of a little one, soon to be 2 little ones. When the Lord gave me the time to wait, I did discover that I still have a lot of spiritual maturing to do. So, I thought it was ironic that I am such a young woman being asked to "lead" other women, women who may be much older than me.

So, I thought it was quite ironic that the Lord is opening up an opportunity to get my foot in the door to the Women's Ministry, but it doesn't seem like the right timing.

My last concern is that a requirement to teach is that I must be a member of the church. We have had this ongoing struggle with our church membership for years. We've attempted several times to address the issue, but there has been no resolution yet. It burdens my heart to think that this membership issue may be the hardest obstacle to get over.

So, there's lots of prayer that needs to be taken up to the Lord concerning this because I know He's already answered them.

Well, this summer the pastor's wife would like to go through Martha Peace's book, Becoming a Titus 2 Woman, and I may have the opportunity to be "mentored", even if it is just witnessing the pastor's wife and even the other godly women who were chosen to be "leaders" in the Women's Ministry.

My Desire
by Jeremy Camp

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen
Where you've take me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all you've done
So I give my hands to use

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