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Monday, March 31, 2008

A No Title Post, 2

I made homemade applesauce for DearDaughter2 on Saturday and was really proud that it actually turned out really good. However, DearDaughter2 didn't sleep very well on Saturday evening and again last night. Since I am nursing DearDaughter2, I only feed her 1 solid feeding a day, which is before bedtime. So, I am suspecting that DearDaughter2's tummy does not like my applesauce and that's what's been bothering her at night. The 2 ingredients other than the apples I mashed up that I added are butter and cinnamon and so I'm thinking DearDaughter2's tummy may actually not like one of those ingredients. She kept burping and tooting last night and then around 4am, she let out one big toot and fell asleep for a little while. However, she had a difficult time staying asleep and so I checked her diaper and she had a big runny poopy diaper. After I changed her, she stayed up for another hour and finally fell asleep aroun 6am. I will not feed her applesauce tonight and we'll see if she sleeps better.

So, it's been a difficult morning.

DearDaughter1 woke up at 7am and I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep. It was hard for me to get my day started with her and so I just turned on the tube, gave her a cup of milk and a bag of cereal, and tried to rest for another 1 1/2 hours. Although the TV kept DearDaughter1 entertained quite well, she was still waking me up every 15 minutes because she wanted this or that. I didn't get to sleep more as I had hoped. I finally gave up trying to rest around 8:30am.

DearDaughter1 has been sick for the past 2 1/2 weeks now and has been really whiny. DearHubby's illness and stay at the hospital didn't do much for this whininess either. So, any sort of routine I had established for DearDaughter1 went out the window because it was quite difficult sticking to a routine when there was just such a huge load to carry on my shoulders. I knew that when DearDaughter1 woke up today, she'd be just as whiny and clingy and right before DearHubby left for work this morning, I asked him, "What am I going to do? How am I going to get through this day?"

Praise be to our faithful God that He is the source of all wisdom and strength!

Despite how horribly tired I feel, the Lord has helped me keep my patience and kindness with DearDaughter1. That is such a huge accomplishment for me because many a times I have not been able to stay patient and kind as I have done so today and I really must attribute this self-control to God's grace who provided it to me.

I had 2 choices to make today. I am so far behind on house work again. I was unable to keep up with the dishes for 3 meals and so I have 3 meals worth of dishes stacked up on my counter. I have also not had the opportunity to fold my laundry yet and so I hav 4 loads of laundry waiting to be folded. In addition to that, I had not looked at our mail from last week nor have I looked at our budget. I had hoped to start catching up with all these things today. Then, I was thrown that little curb ball of lack of sleep and a whiny 2 year old. What should I do? Get caught up in my housework as I had hoped or spend some time working with my children, especially my 2 year old.

I chose to work with my 2 year old and re-establish a routine for her. DearDaughter1's best-friend is so laid back and doesn't need a lot of structure from my DearFriend. My DearFriend is able to let her little one play freely around the house and she has no problem keeping herself entertained. On the contrary, DearDaughter1 needs a lot of structure and a lot of micro-management from me. If I don't give her specific tasks and goals, DearDaughter1 easily gets lost and bored. Along with being sick, I believe a lot of her whininess has come from the lack of structure and consistency these past few weeks.

I implemented a happy/sad face chart a few weeks back to help DearDaughter1 visualize obedience and disobedience. After several weeks of consistently using it, I thought we'd be able to disregard the chart. I decided to re-implement the chart today because it helped DearDaughter1 see what obedience looks like and it also gives her a goal to reach. If she earns 8 happy faces on the chart she gets her favorite treat. The chart also helps me stay consistent with discipline. Without the chart, I found that I was giving DearDaughter1 a lot of warnings, but not necessarily following through with disciplining her. Instead of disciplining her, I'd end up yelling. The chart has helped me stay accountable to disciplining DearDaughter1 appropriately and consistently and I have not yelled once today. The only disadvantage to having a chart like this is that it is time consuming and inconvenient. I guess that is good because it forces me, the parent, to recognized obedience or disobedience and then address it as necessary.

I also spent some good quality time with DearDaughter1. It truly is a task trying to juggle caring for 2 children, a home under renovation, and a husband who is not quite at 100%. Although I've tried to keep things "normal" around here, DearDaughter1's behavior has shown me that our quality time has slipped through the cracks a little. So, I spent some time really reading with her. I may read to DearDaughter1 everyday, but sometimes I do it very mechanically and quickly. Today, we took our time talking about the pictures in her books and enjoying each other's company. Then, we spent some quality time coloring. Bath time and lunch time didn't go so well, but we got through it. I think DearDaughter1 needed that good quality Mommy time.

The challenging task I still face is spending one on one time with DearDaughter2 without DearDaughter1 getting jealous. DearDaughter1 loves her little sister, but whenever I try to give DearDaughter2 that same quality time I give DearDaughter1, DearDaughter1 starts whining or misbehaving to get my attention. Sometimes I am sad for DearDaughter2 because she rarely gets that good quality Mommy time. That's something I need to pray to God about and work towards achieving.

Well, DearDaughter1 has woken from her nap. I didn't even get to start on the tasks that I had hoped to do while she was asleep or even do my devotions.

I just needed a little break...

1 comment:

Trish D said...

My heart goes out to you - it's so difficult trying to juggle it all. But God *IS* faithful, and I know that you'll come through these struggles even stronger. I'll be giving you a call later this week - hopefully we can get together sometime this month!